Our mother gave birth.  And we became us…  Dad was a minor player in the miraculous creation.  Yes, our “me” was formed at that first breath and scream.  And from then on we tested our boundaries…Got spanked a little… corrected behavior and charged on into life and identity formation… With little clue as to where we were going or how to get there.

Fast forward to our teens where the vigor of our body outpaced the maturity of our emotions.  We felt life and we believed wholeheartedly in ourselves.  We experimented with right and we experimented with wrong.  We tried to figure out what was good and what was bad… though bad didn’t seem to matter that much as long as it didn’t immediately hurt us.

But it was in our teens that PDTMWTD became the first and foremost developed reflex.  In fact it is cherished and flexed throughout our life.  It is our sacred vow to the world… “Please Don’t Tell Me What To Do”.  Scream it as loud as you can and it will resonate with the core of your being.

I ask why this expression is so much a part of every person.  Advice is so intrusive.  Agree?  No matter how much you love your child, you had better chill as they DO NOT want to be told what to do.   Regardless of their age…  LOL

There has to be a better way to communicate.  How about threats?  How about gifts? No, neither really work at home, or in politics, or with other countries.

How in the world do you guide someone when you know what they don’t?

Firstly, they have to want to listen, they have to ask the questions they don’t know how to ask. So forget it.  It gets deep here.  For the answer lies in trust.  When your reflex is PDTMWTD it means you don’t trust.  You do not trust the advice or the person offering the advice.  It is that simple. Nagging is equated with advice. Go away.

I will trust you if your values resonate with mine.  Then you may say all you want.   Real trust is formed through strong shared values.  When we are on the same page about good and evil, humility and arrogance, compassion and service, sin and justice, loving and giving…. then real trust forms.

Trust is found in combat.  Trust is found in love.  Trust is found in sacrifice.

Trust is not easy to come by.  One learns this over a lifetime when trusts are broken.

Trust is birthed in the heart.  Listening to our heart, really listening to it all the time is the pivotal moment.  Hopefully before we have hardened it into meaninglessness.  Heart-felt is at the core of being.  Being somebody.

PDTMWTD until I am ready.  Ready to give my life to trust. To Truth.

You have to tell yourself what to do.  And you had better be right.


Chris Bent
Kennebunkport, ME

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